How to be happier (8 Surprising Truths)

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“Good relationships keep us happier, healthier, and help us live longer.” – Prof. Robert Waldinger

Why it works

Robert Waldinger (pictured) is an American psychiatrist, psychoanalyst and Zen master who has devoted his career to exploring the keys to a happy life. As a professor at Harvard University, he’s best known for his work as the current director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development — the world’s longest-running study on happiness, which began in 1938.

Prof. Waldinger’s 2015 TED talk on this topic is amongst the ten most-watched TED talks of all time, and his 2023 book The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Study on Happiness became an international bestseller. His work shows that the secret to a happy life isn’t fame, power or money. It’s healthy, balanced and meaningful relationships.

Here are 8 surprising truths about how to be happier — along with a few simple but effective actions you can take to start putting these lessons into practice today.

How to do it

1) Loneliness harms your health
Chronic isolation can have serious health impacts, similar to smoking. To avoid this, scheduling regular family dinners, volunteering in your community, or joining a local club or group goes a long way.

2) Quality relationships matter
It’s the quality of your relationships, not the number, that truly matters. Deepen bonds by regularly having a heart-to-heart with a close friend, planning a one-on-one outing with a loved one, or writing an appreciative letter or email to someone you care about.

3) Introverts can thrive
A few close, supportive relationships are enough to enhance your happiness. Consider hosting a monthly game night with your closest friends, starting a book club with some fellow bookworms, or joining an online community that shares your passions.

4) Use social media wisely
Focus on building genuine connections online, not endless scrolling or comparison. Start by setting a daily time limit for social media use, comment meaningfully on friends’ posts, and opt for phone or video calls instead of just texting to create deeper connections.

5) Purpose motivates
A sense of purpose, whether in work or relationships, leads to greater well-being and lasting fulfillment. Cultivate this by writing down your yearly goals, mentoring someone in your field, or starting a passion project that helps others.

6) Money has its limits
While financial security matters, beyond a certain point, it doesn’t significantly increase happiness. So practice gratitude for what you already have, spend on experiences rather than material things, and set up a giving fund (however small) to support causes that matter to you.

7) Health is essential
Maintaining your physical well-being is key to a fulfilling life. Confucius put it best: “A healthy man wants a thousand things, a sick man only wants only one.” Make your health a priority by having a consistent sleep schedule, eating a balanced diet, and taking a daily 20-minute walk.

8) It’s never too late
You can grow your happiness at any age. Many people find more joy later in life. Remember that you’re never too old to start being happier — so reconnect with an old friend, learn a new skill or hobby, or plan a trip to a place you’ve always wanted to visit.

You’re your most important project. Make happiness your priority.

If you want to delve deeper into Prof. Waldinger’s bestselling book The Good Life, check it out on Shortform.